Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Bostonians and Washingtonians

There are obviously some differences between the two groups.

Washingtonians adhere to a military-style system of lining up on the escalator. It makes plenty sense, with people who want to allow the machine to carry them to a floor queuing up toward the right, leaving a clearly marked aisle to let people in a rush, jog past. But my question - why is everyone always in such a rush?

Bostonians - "What line? Huh? What, are we in Britain, now?"

Washingtonians - "I am a lean, mean driving machine. I will not stop or slow my car even if I see a pedestrian a mile away. I will brush past inches of them even if I run the risk of a lawsuit. I will charge forward and honk. 'Get outta the way you neanderthal on feet. Can't you see I have wheels and a motor and I intend on using them! '" (Blows raspberry)

Bostonians - "The pedestrian is our friend. We will not turn them into roadkill. We will let them cross, always. Read: always. Whether there's a zebra crossing or not. Whether the pedestrian cross signal is on or not. We will even let them cross if the traffic light has just turned green but we see them running toward the T which they will miss if they don't instantly cross the street. The pedestrian is our friend. We will not turn them into roadkill."

Washingtonians - "We are very important and very busy. We are after all, the nation's capital. This is where the president lives and all the rules are made. I have a lot of work and don't have time to chat. I wear high heels all day and change into flip flops on the Metro because I have a very long commute. I make lots of money and it's been two months since I spoke to my mother."

Bostonians - "We are New England! What could possibly be stressful here? We like our jobs but work a strict five-day week. We're historic and picturesque, intellectual and fun. We wear one pair of shoes all day and my mother will be making pot roast this Sunday for dinner. Any other questions?"

Washingtonans and Bostonians are spirited, American people. Fascinating and addictive.


Error said...

this is so funny Ayesha.
I'm glad you enjoy D.C.
I miss all of you girls!

ani_aset said...

hehe first time on your blog..nice insights ..:)

Jen Judson said...

After reading this, I am pretty sure I am still a Washingtonian at heart aside from the terrible, mean driving.

I can tell you, I was always in a rush up the left side of the escalator because if I was a minute late to work, I would be read the riot act. I would scream at people standing on the left side of the escalator as a result...

Matt even had a t-shirt with the instructions for what side of the escalator you should be on if you want to stand.

Anyway, I hope you are having a fantastic time in Washington!

I definitely miss my old home!